Sunday, May 22, 2005

Married. . . Without Children

A few minutes ago, I put my children in a car and watched them be taken away. Their grandparents are taking them to upstate NY while Ben and I finish packing and move our things to Long Island. We will meet up again on Friday, but I have a feeling this will be a long week!
For those of you without children, I don't know if you can really relate to this, so I will try to explain: when you are the *primary caregiver* (comforter, diaper changer, bather, feeder, cook, playmate, etc) for two adorable children, you can feel a little lost when they are not with you. My children are two and one. Andrew can almost but not quite walk. What if he learns to walk this week?! I won't be there. I am going to miss their cheerful smiles when they wake up in the morning. I won't hear Katie sing or laugh. There are times when Andrew just needs to cuddle with me and won't accept any substitutes (I've tried). Sometimes Katie is a total brat unless "Daddy" is there.
Maybe I sound like a control freak to you, but I am just a mother of little children. I know that they will be well cared for by their grandparents and their aunt ("Poppa", "Mimi", and "Nanna"). Maybe you would tell me that I need to "get a life." Maybe you would be right if my children were adults. Right now, they make up a huge part of my life and I am sad.